Give Your Child the Gift of Self Esteem

By: Cassie Martin

There is much talk about "gifted children" but perhaps we would do well to remember that every child is born with unlimited potential.

"Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action." Orison Marden

Children with are “gifted” with high self-esteem are happier and more successful. Low self-esteem is common in children who are performing badly at school, have behavioural problems and suffer from depression.

The Young Baby

The "helpless" newborn baby actually comes into the world well equipped with the power to get what she wants. Not only do her cries bring her parents running to tend to her; she also uses her body and facial language to get what she wants. It's no coincidence that babies learn to smile while they are still very small - it is an essential tool in their armoury of communication. A baby with a disarming smile can frequently wrap mommy or daddy round her little finger!
At this early stage, it's important to respond to all your baby attempts at communication. Attend to her when she cries (this does not preclude easing her gently into a stable routine), mirror her attempts at facial communication and reward her infant sounds by praising and talking back to her.

The "Can-Do" Toddler

Toddlers are into everything! They are learning so fast about the world around them and want to explore everything, touch everything and even try to eat many things.

It is such a crucial stage and sadly one that is often – usually unintentionally - stifled. Of course it’s necessary to control your child's behavior so that he doesn't hurt himself or damage valuable property. But it’s also important for him to have opportunities to express his exploratory behavior without constant criticism and tellings-off.

Store valuables out of reach and supply your child with toys or household items that he can play with safely. Try to find time to get down on the floor and play with your toddler. Let him watch you and imitate you. He could play on the kitchen floor with some pots and wooden spoons while you are cooking.

Talk to Your Child

Positive talk with your child and generally within the household cannot be over-emphasized. Avoid criticism wherever possible; it is praise that produces good, successful behavior. Be sure to find at least one thing to praise in your child every day. Even better, give praise as often as possible.

Are you having problems finding good behaviors to praise? If so, give your child a task to do that you know he is capable of. Children love earning their parents' approval. Also remember to praise your child for trying, on those occasions that he is not successful.

Set a good example; talk about your goals and successes, and teach your child by example to accept compliments gracefully. Resist the temptation to put yourself down when you are complimented - instead, say a simple Thank You. That's an important sign of a healthy self-esteem.

The other side of the coin to talking is, of course, listening. It is very important to listen to your child. When there is something he is upset about, don't sweep it under the carpet by saying "Don't be silly!" Whatever it is might seem totally trivial to you but often all your child needs is for you to empathise. "I'm sorry you feel sad about that." He may then come up with a solution, or put the incident behind him without further help. Or, you can suggest a solution.

The Power of Desire

You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite.

A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person's desires - your child's. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to some degree, as young adults can be swayed more by their peers' opinions than their parents'.

So why not use the early years well by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child's further education and career much more than her innate ability.

Telling stories is a great way of instilling desire. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child's life and hobbies where possible, to keep her interested.

The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to give his almost-deaf son two things - a burning desire to hear, and a belief that his disability would somehow bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time his son left college, he had against the odds (in those days) come into the possession of a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time. Not only that, he had also justified his father's belief by securing a great job with the hearing aid manufacturer, as a marketer, to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.

"Gifted child"? Give your child the gift of self-esteem, and you will give him the gift of happiness.

Article Source: http://www.parentingarticlelibrary.com

Cassie Martin is an editor for www.kidsgoals.com a dynamic website for parents. Self esteem building and goal setting for kids, parenting advice and resources, ideas for educational games, crafts and learning activities for kids and preschoolers. Cassie is co-author of “How to Help Your Child Succeed”, a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting. www.kidsgoals.com/chldsuc.shtml Get your free fortnightly parenting newsletter at www.kidsgoals.com/parent-newsletters.shtml