How to Discipline When Kids Won’t Do Homework

By: Jean Tracy, MSS

Disciplining with logical consequences cuts down on arguments, begging, and fighting. Think about it like a pie. When you’re consistent, kind and firm, your child will respect you and follow the rules. Discipline becomes just a sliver of the pie. The rest of the pie is filled with fun activities like cooperation, affection, and pleasant discussions.

If you’re inconsistent, yell, and fight with your kids when disciplining, then expect the co-operation, affection, and pleasant discussions to become the sliver. Discipline will take over the rest of the pie and that portion will taste like mud.

It’s time to tackle a common discipline problem, homework. Let’s brainstorm solutions too.

If These Were Your Children, How Would You Discipline?

1. Your son, Kevin, is home alone. Your boss threatens, “It’s your kid or this job!” You leave anyway. As you walk in the door, the TV shouts, “This toy gives you hours of fun.” There’s Kevin, eating chips on the couch. When he sees you he yells and points to the TV.

“Hey mom can I have that toy?”
“Did you do your homework?”
“Homework’s boring.”
“Turn off the TV.”
“Do I have to?”

What would you do if you were Kevin’s mom?

2. Your daughter, Emma, hates homework too. Her teacher can’t read Emma’s scribbles and smudges. She marks her down for messiness. Emma doesn’t care. Playing is much more fun. What will you do?

3. Robert’s school back pack is empty. He “forgot” his homework again. With crackers in one hand and soda in the other, he rushes to his room to play his latest video game. What will you do?

Parenting kids who don’t or won’t do homework becomes a verbal war.

“Do your homework.”
“Later.”
“When?”
“I don’t know.”

Do you feel like you’re losing the battle and the war? Your child is failing in school. He stalls, says, “No,” sneaks out to play, won’t turn off the TV. What can you do?

As a parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the solutions below:

1. Kevin’s homework problem is difficult because you can’t be home right after school. Because you can’t supervise his homework before you come home, I suggest you wait until you’ve been home for awhile. Grab a cup of tea. Tell Kevin to turn off the TV. If you need to, stand there with a serious face. Say nothing until he does.

Then get into the routine of sharing snacks with him while you relax and tell each other how your day went.

Next, give Kevin some choices. Choices promote power. Ask Kevin, “Do you want to do your homework before dinner or after you wash the dishes?” Only give 2 choices. Whatever he chooses becomes part of his daily routine. His grades will improve too.

2. Emma’s solution is easier. She has to redo her homework until it’s 80% better than before. Tell Emma, first homework then play. You’ll need to be consistent. Don’t give into begging. Stay kind and firm.

Of course, just like Kevin, give her special relaxing time with you. Enjoy a snack while sharing your days. Then you can ask her, “Do you want to do your homework before dinner or after your chores?”

Tell Emma, “If you do your homework carefully, you won’t have to redo it. Show me how good your homework can look.” Her grades will look better too.

3. Robert didn’t forget his homework. He chose not to bring it home. “If I don’t bring it home,” he thinks, “I won’t have to do it.” What can you do?

Set up a schedule with both the time and a quiet place to study. This stops Robert from watching TV while studying. It gives him a routine too.

If Robert leaves his assignments at school, ask his teacher to give you extra homework for him to do at home. The only way for Robert to get out of your homework is to do his teacher’s assignments at home. No more “forgetting.”

This should help Robert to remember his assignments. When he completes them, he won’t get in trouble at school or home. His grades will get better. It’s a win-win for Robert.

One more thing, many teachers are internet savvy. They post the assignments on the internet. With Robert, go to the internet to view his homework.

Conclusion When Kids Won’t Do Homework:

There are many ways to cut a pie. Don’t let discipline become the larger portion. Avoid arguing, yelling, and begging. Slice discipline into a sliver by being consistent, logical, kind, and firm. Keep the rest of the pie for enjoying your child.