Kids who Steal - What Can You Du About It?

There are a lot of reasons kids steal. Some kids steal for comfort, to impress a group of friends, get retaliate against their parents, or sometimes to simply get the things they want.

The big question of course is, how to make them stop? They need to find other ways to get those needs met and you need to help.

Repeat offenders do so for one simple reason: because it works. Regardless of their motivation: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing fulfils their needs.

The best way to prevent stealing from happening is to find another way to meet their needs. Once their needs are met, they won't have to continue stealing.

Keep an eye on your kids, watching for good behavior. Each time they perform an act of honesty, no matter how small, be sure to reward and praise them.

At the same time, you need to model the behavior yourself. Are you conscientious about returning change when you are given too much in a store, what do you do when you find a wallet or money in the street? Your children learn by watching you.

Encourage your child to do the right thing. This means putting it right. Not just paying back what was stolen, but also paying compensation for the inconvenience and disrespect caused by the theft. Ideally, the child should do this himself, probably with your support. Here are some suggestions:

Return the goods to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.

Children respond to being encouraged to do the right thing. This means making things right. This means a variety of steps, not just paying back what was stolen, but also paying compensation for the inconvenience and disrespect caused by the theft. Encourage the child to find solutions him or herself with your support. Here are some ideas:

In the event that he spent the money or sold the item to get money, require him to sell something of his own. You can even buy it from him but make sure that he knows the item is gone forever.

If taken from a stranger, remove the items (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine or loss of privileges.

Taking the stolen property back is his opportunity to do the right thing. If refuses, you then have no alternative but to impose an even higher penalty. The message must always be that doing the honest thing, even if it is after the event, is still the best policy.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

The final point is to let it go once the event is over. Go back to work at rewarding right behavior and quit concentrating on the wrong. What we all should strive for continually promoting honesty. Your child isn't your enemy, the dishonest behavior is.

Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.

Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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Dr. Noel Swanson specializes in child behaviour problems. He has written a must-buy book, and hosts a fascinating website with loads of parenting help, go take a look now!
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