Social Networking: What's a Parent To Do?

By: John Carosella

MySpace and other social networking sites can be the most dangerous places on the Internet. They are youth-oriented, easy to use, and are magnets for predators. Internet predators go where the prey hang out. MySpace and other sites like it are made-to-order hunting grounds.

Legislation and stepped-up self-monitoring by MySpace and other sites are unlikely to be sufficient to ensure that children do not post inappropriate personal data and photographs that make them vulnerable to predators. Neither is “teaching your kids”, because, after all, they’re kids.

Parents, on the other hand, can effectively protect their children. It’s hard work, but it can be done. And the more your entire community participates, the easier it will become.

First, it’s necessary to recognize that if you have children younger than 18, you are an Internet Parent. It’s a fact of life that you will have to incorporate into your parenting skills. Being an Internet Parent involves listening to your kids, learning how to use available tools and technologies, establishing rules for keeping them safe, staying up-to-date on how kids are using the Internet and, finally, getting active in your community.

Listen to your kids. When they use the Internet, what do they think they’re doing? How do they use the Internet, and how does each of the activities they pursue make them feel? Teenagers are difficult to read, but they usually have strong initial motivations for their actions, even if later their motivations have changed or their actions have just become habits. Understanding why your kids use the Internet the way they do is just as important as understanding how they’re using it.

Learn how to monitor what your child is doing on the Internet, and get software tools to help you. Find a Web content filter that keeps a permanent log of where a computer’s Web browser has been, and lets you block sites you don’t think your kids should be visiting. You may even need to invest in tools that track your kids’ emails and instant messaging, as well as their “posting” behavior. Why? Because Internet behavior is public behavior, and as a parent, you’re responsible for the way your children behave in public.

Establish rules and expectations—and communicate them. Explain what you’re planning to do, and why it’s your responsibility to keep them safe. Things that pass over the Internet may feel “intimate” or “private” to your children, but you need to realize, and you need to make your children understand, that it’s more like a billboard than a diary. Remind them that their public behavior affects the whole family, and that’s well within your parental responsibility and authority to manage. On the other hand, if you start blocking sites and monitoring your kids without first having reached an agreement with them about safe Internet practices, they’ll no doubt feel that you’ve broken trust with them. There are plenty of sites that lay out excellent Internet safety rules for children. Use them.

Stay up-to-date on how kids are using the Internet. Technology companies invent the tools of the future. Kids take the tools, and invent the culture of the future. The sites kids are using today are much different from the ones they visited a year ago. Next year’s dangers haven’t even been invented yet. It’s very difficult for parents to stay in tune with this rapidly changing world of our kids. But it’s imperative if we’re to have a chance of guiding our kids safely into adulthood. It takes time, patience, and commitment to have a dialog with your kids (especially teenagers) about anything—their Internet behavior is no different.

Finally, get active in your community, because your home computer is not the only one your kids have access to. Remember that as a parent, you have two jobs:
1) Teach your kids to be responsible and use good judgment;
2) Provide a safe place for your kids to learn and grow.

The onus is on YOU to create that safe place. And collective action helps. We engage in “community behavior” all the time, when, for example, your neighbor agrees not to take your son or daughter to an “R”-rated movie. We need to be having the same dialog, and exercising the same community behavior regarding how kids use the Internet. Make sure the adults in your neighborhood or school understand Internet Parenting, and why it’s critical for the entire community to get involved. And hone your skills—if you’re a technologically savvy parent, be a resource to those around you. Volunteer to be an “Internet Parent” Coach. Talk to your PTA or other community organization. Get involved—today.

Article Source: http://www.parentingarticlelibrary.com

John Carosella is the VP of Content Control for Blue Coat Systems where he is responsible for overseeing the production of the K9 Web Protection Internet filtering product, and the company’s associated community outreach program created to raise awareness in communities, educate and encourage first generation Internet parents on the impact the Internet has on children, and on parenting strategies in the 21st century. To download a free copy of K9 Web Protection k9webprotection.com

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